Holy Martyrs
by the Chronic Meltdown
Summary: In which Alicia plays Alicia, Fate portrays a self-deprecating martyr, Hayate bleeds words that hurt others, and Nanoha is the supposedly mismatched whore. AU, NanoFate. AliciaHayate.


Holy Martyrs

_In which Alicia plays Alicia, Fate portrays a self-deprecating martyr, Hayate bleeds words that hurt others, and Nanoha is the supposedly mismatched whore. _

Alicia isn't the favorite friend.

She's the funfest, the discordant beauty, the one whom everyone loves and adores but no one ever trusts. _She isn't like Fate at all,_ they think. _She'd tell anyone anything, even if it wasn't her secret to tell. _

But they're all wrong, aren't they? Alicia's the trustworthy one, the dependable one. Fate's just the pretty thief that steals her spotlight.

In her own words, Fate's just the one everyone goes to because she plays the part better than anyone else does. She's not made for jokes and dirty dancing like Alicia is. She doesn't have the stare like foreplay, the inviting smile, the aura of sex on legs that's just too spectacular to describe.

Alicia wishes she were the favorite friend, and Fate wishes she were Alicia.

However, they both have their roles to play, and Fate isn't meant to be the sexual fantasy just like Alicia isn't meant to be the little black box of secrets (or is it the little box of black secrets? Sometimes, Fate doesn't know how to describe it).

But that doesn't mean they don't pretend, sometimes. They do pretend. They switch rolls and they fit like measured gloves tailored especially for them. But that shouldn't be surprising, should it? They're both the same on the outside, so why shouldn't they be the same on the inside?

And the best part is that when they _switch_-  
no one ever notices.

**XxX**

When she is playing Alicia, Fate (who really hates herself) can find the courage to do things she's never been able to do before. Such as, flirt with her adorable lab partner in biology, whom she finds cute in that blue-eyed-angel way.

But Nanoha isn't an angel, and she's never pretended to be one, so when Alicia (Fate) tells her this, she smiles and asks, "Are you trying your very hardest to get into my pants?"

And because Fate is being Alicia at the moment, she grins flirtatiously (it comes so easily to her, so smoothly) and trails her hand slowly down her side. She moves forward, then, fingers sliding underneath the girl's shirt, lips brushing the shell of her ear. Nanoha's eyes are half lidded, and she's leaning into the touch, her own hand pulling Fate (Alicia) against her by one of the belt loops of her jeans.

Hips touching. Their breathing mingles when Alicia (Fate) leans back with dark eyes, the thumb of her hand rubbing circles on a spot of skin in a way that makes Nanoha moan softly, blue being lidded for a moment. And it's only for that moment, but Fate's not being Alicia anymore, she's being Fate, and she's wrapping her arms around her lab partner's waist and kissing the side of her face.

That's when Nanoha leans forward, a little, and speaks directly into her ear in a way that makes Fate (not Alicia) shiver.

"I like your sister."

Fate (and Alicia) freezes in position as the girl kisses her way down to her neck. She licks slowly, in a way that the real Alicia would consider torturous, before nipping at the skin in a not-so-gentle way that has Alicia (and Fate) yelping. She grinds their hips together, laughing as her own breath catches in her throat, as Fate's breath catches in a not-so-quiet whimper, and there's heat in a place where there shouldn't be heat (at least, not after that specific proclamation).

And there's a dirty, great monster rearing up inside her, then, (the same one Alicia has trouble controlling when she's aroused), and they're so similar, at the moment, that Fate's not sure where Alicia leaves off and she begins, and why the monster is there is another question altogether. It's one that she can't answer. One that she knows Alicia can.

"Oh, really?" And there's genuine surprise in her voice, so much that Nanoha actually leans back to look up at her, blue eyes dark, and she's looking up at her as though it had always been something obvious that they should've all picked up on immediately. "Don't look at me like that; I seriously hadn't noticed."

Nanoha laughs at her, and Fate (not Alicia) is almost one hundred percent sure she's laughing at _her_. But she ignores this notion, because no one ever notices who's who in their twin filled world. It's impossible to know, because they're both one and the same. Alicia is Fate and Fate is Alicia, except that they both play different roles and neither of them has learned how to accept that they can't be each other.

"Fate-chan's wonderful, Testarossa-san." There's something in those eyes that makes Fate (not Alicia, never Alicia) tremble. "I wish you wouldn't sound so shocked."

"Why would you like anything about her?" And there's honest wonder in her voice, honest irritation at not being able to understand, because Fate's the one that always understands things, and even though Alicia is smart, it's not the same. "_What_ is there to like about her?"

Nanoha's expression twists into something pained. She feels like a mismatched whore, and in general, she's never liked the term whore, but if she's going to be one, she'd rather be Fate's and not Alicia's. So she replies, with such a dazzling frankness, that Fate is left floundering for words.

"What is there _not_ to love about you, Fate?"

They're suddenly tangled together, lips glued, together, and there's something about the word _together_ that makes Fate want to cry.

XxX

There's something strange about the way Hayate's watching her. It makes tingles shoot up and down her spine.

"You know, Ali-chin, you should really stop pretending to be Fate." The words stop her in her tracks. "People will really get confused, and you could be flirted with by the wrong person."

For a moment, Alicia can't bring herself to move. The shock is too great. Because she can't stop herself from thinking, _Have I become transparent? Do others realize it as well? Have we been played as fools this whole time? _

_Is it obvious to everyone else that I'm only ever going to be _Alicia_?_

She smiles, though, that smile like foreplay- like sex on legs – and moves forward. Her motions aren't Fate, anymore, they're purely Alicia. Alicia, who is dominant motion, transparent confidence in all the right places, oozing sensuality.

It is Alicia who sits on top of the teacher's desk, leaning back on the palms of her hands, her legs crossed yet still inviting someone to pry them open. Not that they'd put up much of a fight in the long run. And she has long legs, beautiful legs, and Fate does, too.

And in a way, they really are each other.

"And why would you care, Hayate-chan?" She asks flippantly, as though she really doesn't care, but the truth is, she does. When it comes to Hayate –beautiful Hayate with her blue eyes and brilliant smile – she always cares. She always wishes, too, but that's not what she's worrying about now. "Are you jealous?"

But she is, because she's always thinking, _I wish Hayate liked me. I wish Hayate loved me. I wish I wish I wish I wish-_ and Alicia's really just screwed up and fed up and all kinds of sick and tired of wishes.

And she desires.

"Yes." The girl answers frankly, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at her from across the room. "I am."

It's suddenly very hot inside the room, and Alicia (most certainly _not_ Fate or Fate trying to be Alicia) unbuttons most of her shirt. She shifts on the desk and flips back her hair with a perfect toss of her perfect blonde head.

Hayate wishes, too, but hers are much less innocent. Hers involve thrusting and tongues in forbidden places and sex on legs beneath her- or on top of her, really, whichever comes first – _arching _and-

And she wishes.

"Oh, really…?" And her voice is purposely husky, sensual, filled with desire.

Except that this time, everything's genuine, and everything's meant to seduce.

Hayate's eyes darken. Alicia's not surprised to find herself pinned to the desk in less than five seconds. She revels in the way the girl is now between her legs, towering over her. A starved gaze.

Alicia's not the only one with sex appeal.

"You already know how I feel." Blue eyes smolder. "You always have. My question is, are you ready to stop lying to yourself?"

This confuses Alicia.

"Lying to myself?" She asks, breath hitching in her throat as a hand caresses the underside of her breast. She arches into the touch. "Why would I ever do…" She gasps, a sound that drives Hayate's hand farther up and underneath her bra. "…that?"

"You'll never, ever be Fate, and this should make you happy."

It stings, because it's true, and Alicia wishes…Alicia wishes…

Alicia isn't sure what she wishes for, at the moment, because she's too distracted by Hayate's grinding hips to form a coherent thought. When her mind resurfaces, for however brief a time, she's aware of tears, and she frowns up at Hayate. But the other girl's eyes are dry, and that must mean-

"Why should that make me happy?"

She's bitter, and angry, and humiliated, because no one's ever made her cry, before, besides Fate and maybe her mother, but that's to be expected. To the knowledge of the public, Alicia Testarossa's gaze is one that smolders, one that's like foreplay, and she never, ever cries.

But she's sad, at the moment, and really, Hayate expected it. She's not happy to see it, because she's the one who bled the words to hurt her, and even though they were necessary, it's still extremely unpleasant to see Alicia cry.

It makes her want to curl around her in a protective circle, to do something, anything, to protect her.

It makes her want to scream. She doesn't. Instead, she leans down, with something that's not lust, something that's infinitely more precious and astounding-

And she says, "Just by existing, by growing up, by spending time with people…" She smiles, and it makes Alicia's heart beat faster. "Before you know it, you're special to someone…and you've become so special to me." Her voice cracks, then, and becomes so soft that Alicia has to strain to hear it. "You're so special to me…you…" She says, honestly, painfully, brokenly, "Not Fate."

And it's really all Alicia's ever wanted.

**A/N: **I have no idea what to rate this. *snickers* Whatever. I'm gonna go with T, and I'll up it at your recommendation. Sorry if I'm inadvertently scarring any young eyes.

So, anyway. I wanted to write something about the 'twins' having identity issues. I had fun doing it. I also had fun writing Nanoha.

Alicia's actually based on someone I know. It's someone you guys probably know, too. Have fun guessing who it is. *grins*

Later.  
PS: Will be updating Psy. Lit. soon.


End file.
